Marbled Rye Bread

Dude, how many recipes have I done thus far?  I should have counted them or something.  I mean, I guess I could do that now, right?  This is my nineteenth.  I have twenty-four left.  Damn.  That's a lot.  But, I'm almost halfway through!  Should I keep a countdown on my page like Julie did in Julie and Julia?  I mean, she time limited herself (no way I'm doing that), but whateva.  Let me know, fans and friends!  Or don't.  Either way, you know.

Anyway, today's bread represents yours truly.  Dark and white, all mixed up and (hopefully) awesome.  Although I guess I'm more like a smoothie or something, not necessarily divided.  Oh, race.  Why are you in my blog as often as you are?

So!  Marbled rye bread, because it is marbled, requires basically two different doughs which are basically the same thing, except one is darker (again, bread as metaphor for race, totally coming through right here.  I wonder if we can document a prejudice against pumpernickel v. rye.  I have to say I prefer rye, but I mean, whatevs, we already knew I'm totes racist, or else this blog wouldn't be so weird).

So!  We've got light and dark ryes = rye flour + bread flour + salt + yeast + caraway seeds (yep, I splurged, what can I say, I <3 the seeds) + molasses + shortening + water (+ the only difference between the breads -- dark has some cocoa powder in it) =

Top is light, bottom is dark.  I know it looks the opposite, but you'll see.  Kneading this bread was fun!  Maybe it was the difference between including some rye flour, but it was all mattressy.  I can't think of the appropriate adjective right now, but I hope that brings the correct image to mind.

After kneading!

The dark rye reminded me of coffee and/or chocolate ice cream in it's coloring.  Also, it's hot.  So, that could have potentially affected my thinking.  BRB.  Going to get a fudgesicle.

Check it!  It's marbled like the bread!  Anyway . . .

Friends!  They sit for ninety minutes in this separate, but equal sitch.

Oh, and look!  At first, my bookmark for, you know, what recipe I'm on was a subscription maily thing from one of Brendan's Rolling Stones from like Christmas or something.  But the other day, he left a subscription thing for GQ on the table, and I stole it (sorry, B).  Obvi, it's preferable.

Look sharp, live smart, kids.  Buy GQ with James Franco gracing the cover.

After ninety minutes and several chapters of The Host, we have:

Ice-cream-looking friends!  So, I'm making a spiral loaf (that hopefully will look better than that linked picture) =

Hey, look!  It was 2:17!  Thanks, Microwave!  So, at 3:17 (or possibly up to thirty minutes afterwards), this loaf will have finished proofing.

And!

This is huge.  Like, for serious.  It's going to like blow up in the oven, dude.

I haven't taken an oven pic in a while.  So, here, frenemies!

Around 45 minutes later, we've got a finished product, ladies and gents!

Can't wait to see what it looks like cut up!  Just to give you an idea, this is what Peter's picture looks like:

Damn, isn't that lookin' fine?  I can only hope my bread <3s me as much!  Until then (an hour or two til I can cut this up), I go to Target to buy things I most likely don't need.  But I do need.  Oh, my internal struggles with money and capitalism.  Sigh.

After $30 and 1.5 hrs:

Nice swirl.  The bread is kind of underwhelming.  A little too doughy for my taste.  But <3 the caraway seeds.  3/5 <3