Sunday, October 10, 2010

Pizza Napoletana

Hola comrades!  It's been too long, for which I have a lot to blame, but mainly probably myself.  What can I say?  I've been busy.  And bread baking takes two full days of YOUR LIFE, as you well know by now, faithful blog readers.  Also, I knew my next "bread" was pizza dough, which isn't conducive to actual bread eating.  And believe me, I needed actual bread.  Store bought bread tastes like mother fucking cardboard, friends.  CARDBOARD.  How do you all eat it?

Ace.  So, today, I threw together a no-knead, no-rise bread to eat and began making pizza napoletana!  In an Italian accent.  I should have listened to Tiziano Ferro when I made this dough.  Next time.

First, though!  As you recall, I moved!  Check my new kitchen out, ladies and gents.

Impressed much?  It looks better in person.  It actually looks pretty shitty in that picture.  Yeah . . . apartment living on a student budget.  Life.

So!  Chilled bread flour + salt + yeast + oil + ice cold water =

PS: Blogger now has a function where you can upload multiple photos at once.  FINALLY.  Geez, kids.

And, stirred up.  La la la.

And for the eventual three pizzas I'll make one day maybe.  We had to cut them up or something.  Will these actually make pizzas?  Idk.  This will be odd.  Because I'll have to make them for dinner.  And I just made soup today.  OH.  My life is so hard.  It's like being Drake and complaining that I can't bring a girl back to my dorm.  Gah!

So, these sit for at least overnight or for up to three days.  We'll see when I actually want to make the pizzas.  And look!  It's my soup!  And celery.  For ants on a log.  Because I know you're interested in my eating habits.  And because I'm six years old.

Until actual pizza making day, guys and dolls!

It's pizza making day!  Yay!  Here's the goods:

Whoa.  You can see like part of the floor.  It's kind of like those pools that fade off into the ocean.  Except not.

So.  I'm like, how many pizzas can one girl eat?  Aka am only actually making one pizza and turning the rest into focaccia-esque-something.  Peter allows this.  I am still following the rules, friends.

Patted out into little rounds.  These sit for two hours while I go to Target and find out they don't sell pizza sauce.  Why, Target, why?  How many brands of spaghetti sauce can you have without selling pizza sauce?  Also, thanks for not having 100% cranberry juice.  Juice cocktails are not okay.

After two hours.  And laden with plastic wrap.  I find I don't like this counter as much for pictures.  It's the same color as the dough.  I miss my old gold-flecked white countertops.  Oh, nostalgia.

I had to pre-heat the oven for 45 minutes at 550 degrees.  After 45 minutes, the oven started buzzing.  I was on the phone.  I turned the oven off.  Then I turned it on and the buzzing started again.  I don't know what was happening.  I left it.  So, pizza was cooked under buzzing conditions.  But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Here's the pizza way too stretched out.  I hate how Peter forces his opinions on you.  It's like he's like, oh make the pizza nine to twelve inches in diameter, which necessarily = thin crust.  Peter, I don't like cracker-pizza.

Oh, and here's the makeshift focaccia.

And pizza with topping(s)!

Peter is such a fucking snob.  He notes: "The American 'kitchen sink' approach is counterproductive . . . A few, usually no more than 3 or 4 toppings, including sauce and cheese is sufficient."  GEEZ.  This means my favorite aka spinach/tomato/feta pizza is counterproductive.  WHATEVER.  Get a life, Peter. PS: This is a must watch, everyone.  I just remembered it because of snobbery.

Yes, it is amazing.  Dramz.  Seriously.  I could have started crying in parts of it.

I got an oven thermometer, PS.  So, hopefully I will avoid horrible burning accidents.

Pizza head, pizza head, egg head, egg head.  I definitely have referenced that before.  Look it up.  And you'll find a link.  Or if you already know, congratulations.  You are amazing.


Good thing about this recipe: unlike all the rest of the billion hour waiting time, you only have to wait 3-5 minutes for this!  Yay!  The pizza was good.  Crackery.  Not worth the overnight waiting time.  Seriously, this recipe is amazing.  I also ate the focaccia dipped in pizza sauce.  I liked that better.  Not as crackery.  Overall, eh, I guess 3/5 for the pizza?  Dunno, kids.  Anyway, I have to stop wasting time and start reading.  Bye.  <3