Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Corn Bread, pt 2

Big Ten gymnastics is on TV.  WTF?  People watch this stuff?  Second day of cornbread.  We got the soaker, we got [some of] the ingredients, we got healthcare.

And importantly, we got bacon aka fake-on:

PS: This has TBHQ in it.  WTF.  Thought it was supposed to be healthy.  LIARS.

So, first, this is cooked.  Peter says in an oven, but because fake-on has like no fat in it, I cooked it on the stove:

Tastee tastee.  G-l-a-m. o-r. o-u-s.

While this cooked, I mixed up [all purpose] flour + baking powder [dude, when you come home, and your dad's a chef and your sister's a cookie and brownie baking wizard, you would expect all ingredients to be ready and available.  First fail in this assumption.  We didn't have baking powder.  GEEZ.  My chef-dad said baking powder and baking soda are like the same thing except one starts working immediately and the other works over time.  So, I just added baking soda in place of baking powder.  We'll see if this = fail. + baking soda [the recipe did call for some] + salt + sugar + brown sugar [another fail -- I used granulated and molasses] =


Oh, and the bacon's done.  All burnt.  I shoulda-coulda-woulda used bacon bits.  But, I bought this for a ridic five dollars.

I'll crumble this up, I promise.  I don't remember if I have photo documentation of this.  Cooking-at-not-your-normal-place-while-two-people-look-at-you is very disorienting.  I felt like I had to move super fast and I couldn't find anything.

Case-in-point.  I have no idea what this picture is supposed to show you.  Maybe this is all the dry ingredients and that last picture was just the flour.  Why I took a picture of just the flour -- I don't know.

Now for the wet stuff.  Eggs + melted butter + honey =

And the star of our show!  The cornmeal + buttermilk soak!  Dude, I'm feeling a little lightheaded.  I think I need to eat something other than a mango.  Plus my dad's watching food on TV, per you-zh.  Now you see why every time I'm back here I gain eighty pounds.

Plus, you know, my being bored = baking and eating.  So, this egg stuff is added to the cornmeal and we get this!

Again, a dumb picture.  Ooh!  My pancakes are done!  Ooh!  The bread's done!  BRB.  N/M.  The bread is done on the outside, but glugly on the inside.  [See, people who I just explained glugly to -- see how it works here!]  I turned the temp down, and my dad just did something else.  IDK what.  Whateva. I'm eating pancakes with peanut butter and honey.  Hope this doesn't turn into a bread fail.

Back to the natural progression of things.  You know, the progress narrative, NBD.

Egg stuff + flour.  Stir stir stir.  Yeah yeah yeah.

Cornz!  Cornz!  In the batterz.  Stir stir stir.

Look, it's in the batter.  I def took so many dumb pictures.  Sorry about that.

Now in the pan!  Yaay!  Except I can't be that excited b/c this may be a bread fail.  And I'm cold.  I need tea.  We don't have any big mugs here.  I'm practically dying.

But we do have a lot of Oreos and chocolate bars, so that's good.  Oh, and this previous picture is with bacon crumbles.

And in its really big home.  After my baby oven, all other ovens look like monsters to me.  So, yeah.  The bread should be done by now, but it's not.  After ten minutes, it's still glugly, so I'm putting it in for another ten.  It's probably going to be all burnt.  FML.  On the plus side, it's like Forks, Washington, outside.  So, I'm planning to meet a vampire today.  I'm probably too tan for him though.  That sucks.

Dudes, so probably after about an hour instead of thirty minutes, I think it's done:

A little burnt.  I hope not too much.  Looks like a pizza.  Pizza head, pizza head.  I'm not a pizza head, I'm a human being!

Sits for fifteen, then we can see if it's burnt.

It's a little burnt.  Not too bad.  It's okay.  Sweet.  A little too chewy.  I'd give it a 3/5.  Let me know if you still want it, Vicky and Natty.  <3


  1. Is that Baba's foot in the third-to-last picture? Better take it out. :P

    Also, baking soda and baking powder are only kind of the same thing. If you look online, you can find the "recipe" for baking powder: baking soda and cream of tartar. I don't know if Baba has that either, though.