Cinnamon Buns!

And by cinnamon buns, I mean cinnamon buns, not cinnamon buns, if you know what I mean.  No?  Well, you're missing out.  Today, in the hopes of being done with this project by 3pm, I started baking early!  Before my teaching class at 10:30!  Luckily, the buns agreed with me (haha), b/c they require a two hour rise.  It's like squats, basically.

But, before that happens, shortening + sugar + salt =

PS: I just got new boots!  Yay UPS!  Too bad I'm not wearing my apron.  I could look super cool answering the door.

Anyway, this + lemon extract (I used lemon juice) + egg =

Looks gross, no.  But, it's cinnamon buns.  Supposedly better than Cinnabon.  I know you're jealous.  If you're in C-bus, come on over.

There are a lot of mixy-mixins in this recipe.  This + flour + yeast + milk =

Hot.  This was easy to stir!  Usually I have trouble getting all the flour incorporated, but in a few seconds, this was ready!  Ready to knead.

All dough looks the same, no matter what's in it.  Maybe because it's all freakin' like white.  Dude, flour's bleached.  Like normal flour.  WTF?!  Racists.

Speaking of racists, look who joined me for pre-breakfast baking!

I'm just kidding, Brendan isn't a racist.  It's an inside joke, people.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, GET OUT OF MY LIFE.  I'm just kidding.  I like you.

Look!  He's eating last week ciabatta (with Nick Jonas looking on approvingly)!

Second time someone's imitating my bread-eating face on my blog.  Second time someone fails.  I should hold a contest?  Any takers?  Try to be like me, recreate my flow, imitate my flow, then relate my flow.  But while they try and take my flow, I make my dough.  So, let's get back to making that dough.  And by dough, I mean, dough, if you know what I mean.  PS: Those lines from My Drink 'N My Two Step will be the name of this contest.

Smooth.  All ready to sit for two hours while I go make some baby feminists.

PS: Look, my flour isn't racist.

In fact, as stated, it's never bleached.  That that, haters.

Two hours later, this dough has def done some crunches.  8-Minute Buns, you know.

Double the size? -- I won't know until one of you buys me this as a present.  Thanks in advance!  Love ya!

Anyway, back to the dough$.  Rolled out and CINNAMON AND SUGAR!  Yep.  This is what I'm talking about.

Dudes.  Are you excited now?!  I am!!

Let me see that tootsie roll.

Thanks!  Little lady, you got me just (screwed up) off of your melody.  Little lady, come on and don't (chop me up).  Please don't make a fool of me.  Actually, chop yourself up.  But, don't make a fool of me, esp because other people than me have to eat these cinnamon buns.  I already ate like twenty burnt cookies this week in the midst of making cookies for my feminist babies.

Don't worry, they're gonna get bigger (although these are mini).  75-Minute Buns.

PS: Mid-proof, I realized Peter says they should be 1/2 inches apart, not two inches apart.  So I moved them closer together.  Don't tell anyone.  PPS: Dude, what if Peter read my blog like Julie and Julia and he hated it like Julie and Julia?!  I would die.  I now know how you feel, Julie.  I just need a boyfriend so our relationship can fall apart and then I can blog about it.  Maybe I should hold a contest for a boyfriend-then-ex-boyfriend, too.  Contest title: Never let girl cook in your kitchen.  All up in your fridge, and next will the stove.  Never let girl cook in your kitchen.  When pot gets hot everything drops.  Eyes on your man, hands on your pot.  If she runs in to help, tell her stay in your spot.  Never let girl cook in your kitchen.

75-Minute Buns later:

Friends!  It looks like a pretty painting or something.  You know, if it wasn't on an oily, burnt pan.

These kids go into the oven for twenty minutes.  PS: While baking cookies for my kids, I realized that our oven is like way hot.  And no, I don't mean way hot like this:

But, like this:

So, when I was making the cookies, I was like, hmm, maybe I should turn the oven down twenty five degrees.  I did, and it worked.  So, I'm going to try while baking these, too.

In the 325-degree oven!

Meanwhile, I made the glaze for this.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh.  Powdered sugar + lemon extract (for me, lemon juice) + milk =

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay, I will become articulate again.  These sit for ten minutes, then get bathed in glaze!!!!!!!!  PS: I think this is a better font for glaze than this, which is like hoity toity, not melty and delicious.

Ten minutes later:

This is ridiculous.  RIDICULOUS.  What is going on, world?!  So, once the glaze is on, sits for twenty minutes.  OMG.

Originally, I wasn't going to try one, because I have a sugar headache from burnt cookies, but I mean, really?!

So, I ate a little one.

Icing = way too lemony.  I shouldn't have even added that stuff.  Not enough cinnamon/sugar.  Still good though.  Probs a 3.5/5.  Oh well.  I think the bigger rolls with more swirly-bits will be better, too.  Better than Cinnabon?  No.  Still good?  Yes <3