Pane Siciliano

Sicilians!  The futbol that Italy's boot is kicking!  The largest island in the Mediterranean!  Birthplace of Empedocles!

So, obviously, this bread has a lot of things it potentially must live up to.

First, though, here is a picture of Kid Cudi in honor of the cute kid with similar style I just saw on the street.  I <3 this look, peeps!  Recognize.

Should I write a missed connections?  Bahaha.

Anyway.  Sicilians!  Started with our BFF, pate fermente TWO days ago.  That's right, I neglected to write this over time.  Rather, it'll probably be all at once.  Ah!

Day two: bread flour + semolina flour + salt + yeast =

+ pate + olive oil + honey + water =

La la.  I got out some odd aggression on this dough.  Kneading is good for the soul, people.  STOP fighting, start kneading.  Maybe I should bring some dough to work.  Those kids be crazy.

Two hours and some pizza later [I know, another dough experience not recorded for you, my fans and friends!]:

It's a monster!  Today, I played a game with a kid and she pretended her sister was a monster [partly because her hair wasn't done -- problematic] and the monster was a "poisonous mushroom."  I know, I'm confused too.

So, now, this bread needed to be shaped.  Normally, the recipe makes three loaves, but since I halved it, I just decided to make one MONSTER one.  Monsters are all over this blog, lovers!

Requiring at TWENTY-FOUR INCH BAGUETTE.

Idk if that's twenty-four inches.  I figured it was about two rulers, but idk.

And this was the cool part.  I had to shape it like an "S."  Check it!

Benz, too bad I didn't make this at home/ when you were here.  It's yours!

With Sesame Seeds!  Ses galore!

And so now we say

Goodniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Dude, I forgot I bought soda yesterday!  Yay!  Obviously I didn't need to spend those three dollars though, if I effing forgot about it.  Ah!  I need a DOG.

In the marnin', in the marnin'.  Well, in the afternaan.  Bahahaha.

Looks the same size, but it got way huger.

Canteloupinterruption.

Trey-Songz-in-cardigainterruption.

Bread resumes.  Bread resumes.

And this is obviously what I get for interrupting the bread.

UGH.  I don't understand why my bread BURNS.  It was in the oven half the time it was supposed to be, and it still came out looking like this.  WTF.  Sick.of.it.

Wait for 40.  See how gross this burnt ish tastes.

Not bad.  I mean, it's okay.  Not too burny.  I'm sick of these "normal" breads though.  I need something with like STUFF in it or something.  3/5 <3